Reframing Our Narrative

It’s so easy to doubt ourselves as moms. We see other people who seemingly have it all together, and we can be really hard on ourselves if we don’t live up to the perfect picture we paint in our minds.

I tend to have high expectations of myself and my parenting, and it was really eye-opening for me to realize how self-critical I can be.

Isn’t it amazing what we realize about ourselves when we start paying attention?

What I’ve found to be helpful is reframing my inner narrative. So instead of seeing just the negative in a situation, I can use it as an opportunity for growth and connection.

Here are some examples:

“Look at this huge mess, and I’m going to have to clean the whole thing up!”

Turns to: “I’m so glad my kids were able to have fun and be active today. Let’s see how we can put the house back together.”

“I can’t believe I gave the kids cereal for dinner.”

Turns to: “I’m glad we were able to have an easy dinner, so our evening would feel less stressful.”

“I yelled at my kids, I’m such a bad mom.”

Turns to: “I can take a deep breath, center myself, and use this an opportunity to repair and connect with my kids.”

Motherhood, with all its ups and downs, affords us plenty of opportunities to practice reframing our mindset. It’s some of the hardest and also most rewarding work we can do. Something that I continue to work on all the time. It involves noting our immediate visceral response, pausing, and then responding with intention and care. The good news is that with with practice it can start feeling more natural!